How It All Began
This all began with depression after multiple surgeries, and my husband suggested gaming. I scoffed at the idea. Not just because I didn’t see myself as a “gamer,” but because I was afraid of being judged. Gaming at my age seemed silly. I was terrified people would judge me as lazy, childish, and irresponsible. Our world is designed for grind, but not the fun kind we do in cozy games, the kind that wears us down and makes our emotions too depleted for the things we love.
The irony, is that there is nothing lazy about writing, hosting, and editing a podcast, building a website, researching folklore, writing blog posts, and preparing for a gaming channel (coming soon). Creative work like this requires discipline, consistency, and more behind-the-scenes effort than most judgemental people ever see. Meh, fear isn’t logical though, but we have to work hard on telling ourselves the truth so we follow our paths in life!
Back to the beginning…I was both post-op and pre-op, suffering from the effects of the last procedure and the anticipation of the next. To top it off, midlife was creeping up on me like a thief in the night. My skin was losing elasticity, and my figure wasn’t the same one I had in my twenties. I was staring down the cold, hard fact that I was aging, so gaming? It just didn’t seem plausible.
We were living deep in the countryside, in a country that wasn’t my own, surrounded by a language that wasn’t my native tongue. It felt like everything was against me, and I was isolated, expected to face it all head-on. That fueled depression on top of everything else.
One day, reluctantly, I signed up for a Steam account and ordered a girly controller (if I was going to do this, it at least needed to match my personality). I purchased several games: Anemoiapolis (I now have a soft spot for liminal games), No Man’s Sky (it never stuck), and Strange Horticulture (I was lost for hours in this one). Despite my varied feelings on each game, one constant is that I was terrible. Watching me attempt to move my character around was comical. I genuinely believed I would never catch on.
I’m only one year in, and those first months feel like a lifetime ago.
Gaming gave me a strange sense of purpose alongside my podcast. It became something almost existential, like one of those experiences you can’t fully explain unless you’ve lived it. There’s something about learning a new world complete with unknown mechanics and rules.
Around that same time, I began building Noorly, the fictional fae realm where my podcast lives. In that world, I wake in a kingdom beyond the veil and am found by Woodgrin, an elegant, snarky fae. It sounds dramatic when I summarize it like that, but the root and soul of it is much quieter. Noorly is floating candles, tea by the fire, a floating tower full of books, with a study on the thirteenth floor where stories are researched, complete with a ghost feline, and mechanical objects that communicate.
Noorly and Woodgrin both started taking on lives of their own. It became a creative and regulated space, something much needed. There is sarcasm, chaos, and folklore, but it’s contained in a fun and safe way a bit like a cozy game. I set out to create a world where you could escape for a little bit every week or two.
We live in the real world. We have bills, aging bodies, responsibilities, surgeries, headlines, and all the blah that comes with being human in the third dimension. None of that disappears because we light a candle or pick up a controller, but it sure can help.
Sometimes we need respite. Not to fully disassociate, but just a temporary escape.
A world full of fantasy can give the nervous system something it rarely gets in modern life: contained stakes with clear rules and fun magic. A fire that always burns in the hearth. A teacup that is always full.
Gaming did that for me. It allowed me to fail safely. To explore safely. To try again. It gave me agency at a time when my body felt like it had none.
Soon after, I was rendered immobile for five weeks while waiting for my next surgery. I couldn’t do much beyond gaming and reading. It saved my sanity. It healed me in ways I didn’t expect. And I honestly dislike the stigma that gaming is inherently unhealthy. When used intentionally, it is anything but. There are certainly no age limits. If anything, I find gaming may be better suited for adults than for developing minds. Most adults understand pacing and regulation. We understand when to hit that power button and walk away.
Noorly also grew from the same understanding.
It is a fictional realm, yes. But it was also intentionally designed as a place where others can sit, listen to stories, and breathe.
Because while we must live in this world, we ARE allowed to rest.
And with that being said, welcome to the blog , where we talk gaming, folklore, and the quiet magic of calming the nervous system in a world that moves far too fast.
